[Verse 1]
Every Christmas I'm a very good boy
I put out milk and cookies for this guy to enjoy
But Santa never brings the right toy
I felt like giving up on all this holiday joy
But if you've seen 'The Santa Clause' you know (You know)
You become Santa if you put on Santa's coat (Oh)
You can kill him, leave him dead up in the snow (Oh)
The elves don't even care about you murdering their bro
And so

[Pre-Chorus 1]
This Christmas gon' be special to me
I ain't gonna ask for a car with a key
I ain't gonna write to Santa asking him, "Please"
'Cause what I want for Christmas can't fit under the tree

[Chorus]
I wanna be Santa Claus
So I'm gonna kill Santa Claus
When I hear those reindeer paws
I'm gonna break the law
This Christmas, don't got a wishlist, I got a hit list
And at the top of it is old Saint Nicholas
Nothing against him, it's just business
I ain't the Grinch but I'm gonna steal Christmas
[Verse 2]
I made a list and checked it twice (Oh)
For all the fucks I give about ending Santa's life
And I found none
I'll travel at the speed of light
If I'm Santa now does mean that I sleep with Santa's wife?
'Cause I'm down, son (Yeah)
Fire in my fireplace (Oh)
Not talking 'bout this flying ship when I say I'mma slay
He gon' die, son
I'mma wake up Christmas day
With all the dopest presents that I forced the elves to make
They're my prisoners

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I'll never understand why this is
The way that they decide who the next Santa Claus is
How do people not believe that Santa exists?
In this world, aren't adults concerned about all these gifts they didn't buy?

[Chorus]
I wanna be Santa Claus
So I'm gonna kill Santa Claus
When I hear those reindeer paws
I'm gonna break the law
This Christmas, don't got a wishlist, I got a hit list
And at the top of it is old Saint Nicholas
Nothing against him, it's just business
I ain't the Grinch but I'm gonna steal Christmas