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lyrics "Eminem - The Real Slim Shady"

 
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Artist express:Eminem
Release year:2000

May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Were gonna have a problem here
Yall act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin her ass worse than before
They first were divorced, throwin her over furniture (Agh!)
Its the return of the "Ah, wait, no way, youre kidding
He didnt just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said, nothing, you idiots!
Dr. Dres dead, hes locked in my basement (ha ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
"Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, Im sick of him
Look at him, walkin around, grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who, " "Yeah, but hes so cute though."
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than whats goin on in your parents bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
But cant, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if Im lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And thats the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a womans clitoris is
Of course theyre gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
Theyve got the Discovery Channel, dont they?
We aint nothin but mammals—well, some of us, cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then theres no reason that a man and another man cant elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes
Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Cause Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Will Smith dont gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics cant even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldnt it be weird?"
Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear em argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, hes cute, but I think hes married to Kim, hee-hee."
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
Im sick of you little girl and boy groups
All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you
And theres a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just dont give a fuck like me
Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
Cause Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Cause Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Im like a head trip to listen to, ‘cause Im only givin you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of yall
And I dont gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
Better than 90% of you rappers out can
Then you wonder: "How can
Kids eat up these albums like Valiums?"
Its funny, ‘cause at the rate Im going, when Im 30
Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when Im jacking off with Jergens
And Im jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isnt working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
He could be working at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I dont give a fuck!"
With his windows down and his system up
So will the real Shady please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Cause Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Cause Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Cause Im Slim Shady, yes Im the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Ha ha, I guess there’s a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let’s all stand up!
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