Hey ladies in the place, Im callin out to ya
There never was a city kid truer and bluer
Theres more to me than youll ever know
And Ive got more hits than Sadaharu Oh
Tom Thumb, Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery
I date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery
Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon
And Im always out looking for a female companion
I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib
I took off her moccasins and put on my bib
Wheelin and dealin I make a little bit of stealing
Ill bring her back to the place and your dress Im peeling
Your bodys on time and your mind is appealing
Staring at the cracks up there up on the ceiling
Such and suchll be the bass that Im throwing
Im talking to the girl telling her Im all-knowing
Shes talking to the kid (who?) to the kid, to the kid
Im telling her every lie that you know that I never did
Hey ladies, get funky
All the ladies in the house
The ladies, the ladies
Well, me in the corner with a good looking daughter
I dropped my drawers, said welcome back Kotter
We was cutting up the rug, she started cutting up the carpet
In my apartment, I begged her, please stop it
The gift of gab is the gift that I have
And that girl aint nothing but a crab
Educated no, stupid yep
And when I say stupid, I mean stupid fresh
Im not James at fifteen or Chachi in charge
Im Adam and Im adamant about living large
With the white sassoons and the looks that kill
Makin love in the back of my Coupe De Ville
I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie
I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie
Cause I dont kinda go for that messin around
You be listening to my records a number one sound
Just step to the rhythm, step, step to the ride
Ive got an open mind so why dont you all get inside?
Tune in, turn on to my tune thats live
Ladies flock like bees to a hive
Hey ladies, get funky
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies (girls, girls)
Hey, hey, hey, hey, ladies
One more time, aint it funky now?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
(Aint it funky now?) well, you know that
She got a gold tooth you know shes hardcore
Shell show you a good time then shell show you the door
Break up with your girl it ended in tears
Vincent Van Gogh go and mail that ear
Call her in the middle of the night when Im drinking
The phone booth on the corner is damp and its stinking
Said come on over it was me that she missed
I threw that trash can through her window cause you know I got dissed
Your old lady left you and you went insane
You blew yourself up in the back of the six train
Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak
Sucking down pints until I didnt know
Woke up in the morning with a one-ton ho
Cause I announce I like girls that bounce
With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce
Girls with curls and big long locks
And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks
Walking high and mighty like shes number one
(She thinks shes the passionate one)
Hey ladies, get funky
Dance
Good god
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Aint it funky brother?
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
Hey ladies